Even if I try to make one, I never follow through. Somehow that box of “Succeed” or “Fail” makes it easier to just plain not participate. I, instead, choose Option C: “None of the above”. So, this year, I’m simply setting an intention: To push forward, to hold myself accountable, to walk through life with a greater sense of self-awareness and discipline.
So, how is this different from a “Resolution”? Well, to me, a resolution is concrete, precise, specific and you either succeed with it or you don’t. This intention is no different than the one I set for myself each time I step onto the yoga mat – It is a guiding thought. Not so much a goal, as a reminder.
So what does this intention mean for me? Well, I have a problem with commitment. In all aspects of life, I seem to have a hard time finding the will and focus to commit to most anything. This applies to simple things like changing the radio station – I find a good song on channel 1, but is there something better out there? Maybe on 2,3,4,or 5? And so I shuffle around and end up missing the first song. Of course, part of that is just a matter of living in the moment, but it is definitely a matter of commitment as well.
When I get invited to dinner with friends, I very rarely come out and say “yeah! What time? I’ll be there!” Usually it’s more like “Sounds great! I’ll check with so-and-so and let you know” or some other vague excuse to take my time making that decision. I almost always leave an out.
I make excuses. I plan to eat healthy, and then I get a headache and think it’s magically okay to mack down on some frozen Taquitos with a lethal dose of sour cream. And then maybe I chase that with a couple pieces of mom’s homemade fudge. And a nap…
I feel inspired all day, and plan to get a killer yoga practice in when I get home, but then I get home. And that couch looks so comfy. Maybe I’ll just sit and read about yoga instead. No – I slump down and watch 4 hours of Glee.
The last commissioned piece of art I did had a 2-year turnaround time. I only worked on it over about 5 days total. It was for a friend and so I didn’t commit, I made excuses, and I put it off.
I’ve had a friend’s wood burning pen for almost 2 years now so that I can practice, learn how to use it, and then complete an art project for him with it. But no, I haven’t turned it on once. I once opened the box. Well it fell open…
It’s beyond procrastination – it’s utter non-commitment.
So I have set an intention for this year – so be more committed to all the things in my life, and more decisive, and to have stronger will power. And if I should notice that I have strayed from this intention, I will merely observe and course correct. I will not have failed. I will not give up. I will simply stop, breathe, and re-focus. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes. I will lose my breath and my focus will scatter. So I give you all permission to gently nudge me back onto a healthier path when you see me stray. In fact, I welcome the support.
May we all continue to grow and learn and improve with each passing day.
Happy New Year!